One of These Things is Not Like the Other: Valentines Day, the Continuing Story

As promised, Layne had more up his sleeve V-day eve in the form of a reservation at swanky SLC restaurant The Metropolitan. He had done all his research on the place weeks ago checking out food, prices, attire and making the reservation. So we showed up at 6:00 in our business casual attire and were all ready for a fancy evening of fine dining. But from the moment we walked in we felt out of place, beginning with being a tad under dressed. What they didn't mention on the website was that they completely changed everything on Valentines Day. The worst of it came when we were seated and had a look at the specialized Valentines Day menu which offered only one 6 course meal option. Layne asked our waitress if the price at the bottom was for 2, to which she snootily replied, "No sir, that is the price per person." I think both our hearts skipped beats. At that price with tax and the 25% gratuity, dinner would cost at least $250! Layne, ever the gentleman, saw the look on my face and said, "It's ok, we'll be ok" even though I could see beads of perspiration forming on his brow. As I stared at the menu, instead of seeing 'Wild mushroom Couscous' and 'Lamb Sirloin' all I could see was 'plane tickets to AZ', 'iPod', 'new clothes', '4 lift tickets' 'weekend at a nice hotel' and 'car payment'. I'm pretty sure Layne was seeing the same thing. Every minute that we sat there became more and more uncomfortable as they sat other finely dressed couples around us (and by around, I mean practically in our laps). Perhaps our waitress sensed our desire to leave because she never came back. After nearly 20 minutes of sitting and stewing and feeling thoroughly embarrassed, we decided to quietly excuse ourselves through the velvet curtain blocking the entrance. After making the walk of shame to the exit however, it only got worse. Right outside the restaurant, in front of the valet guys and other couples walking in, I stepped on a patch of ice and slipped, feet flying over my head, and fell on my back. Lying on the frozen sidewalk surrounded by my purse barf, I felt myself at that fork in the road of "laugh or cry", and I decided to laugh. We proceeded to go to Pier 49 for pizza where we could nurse our bruised egos and my aching gluteous. We laughed about the situation and had a great time together!

Layne also got me a 1 hour massage at Massage Envy that I can't WAIT to redeem on my day off Monday. The best gift I received though was from a guy at work. I don't even know his name, but he comes to clean our office and empty the trash cans every Thursday. He's a big guy in his 20's with long hair and a full bushy beard who definitely has some kind of mental and/or social developmental disorder. He's very sweet (though doesn't bathe or change clothes often enough) and I think has taken a bit of a shine to me. He calls me "Trouble". He switches off speaking in either an over the top cockney accent or full on gangsta'. My conversation with him last week involved him asking my opinion which color he should dye his hair and beard, "Casper white, or dark purple". Difficult decision, I know. I nudged him toward purple. Yesterday while lifting up my feet at my desk for him to vacuum under them, he said, "It's love day. Here, have a purple rabbit." and handed me this gem,

after which he proceeded to go completely Mrs. Doubtfire with the vacuum to Rhianna's new song "Please Don't Stop the Music" blasting on his Walkman. Lets just say that some of his moves would get him escorted out of a stake dance. I was doing my best to hold it together during his little show for me while my co-workers were all purple with held laughter and on the verge of tears. After he left I told them that it was my Valentines gift for each of them. I think I'll keep this bunny on my desk to remind us all that some days you just gotta dance! All in all, it was a great day!