Happy Halloween!

I'm not quite sure what it is about the smell of pumpkin innards that raises my spirits, but last night Kim and I carved a couple pumpkins (courtesy of the Despain garden) and we were both significantly cheered by the exercise! I love carving pumpkins. It appeals to my inner arteest. Admittedly this year I didn't put as much time and effort into my gutted gourd creation as I have in years past, but I think my little Frankenstein turned out well all things considered. I found it amusing to hear on the radio this morning that the state of Iowa has now placed a tax on purchasing pumpkins because they have decided that pumpkins are no longer a food, but rather a decoration. So ridiculous! I think that means I need to go make some pumpkin cookies. Happy Halloween everyone! Be safe and take lots of pictures of your cute costumed children to post on your blogs!

Office Pranks

This morning I arrived at my desk to find that my chair had been lowered all the way, there was a big sign saying, "You're Fired" on my computer screen, and someone had used misc. office supplies to form a skull and cross bones on my desk. This is not the first time. The guys I share an office with (most of whom are engineering grad students) like to play office pranks on me, and I'm no stranger to retaliation to be sure. As I was brainstorming my revenge, I came across these other office pranks that others have pulled. I know most of you have been involved in an office prank or two so please share! The last good one I remember involved huge amounts of hole punch waste and a clean freak's cubicle. Free, quick, easy, Priceless! If I recall, he spent hours with one of those little roller vacuums. I'm not the kind who would spend ridiculous amounts of time or money to pull off an office prank (at least not by myself), but I've got to give props to the mastermind behind the foil-wrapped cubicle! That must have taken forever!! And Peeps on the ceiling, genius!

Divorce Attorney's Ad

This Canadian attorney's ad was just too good to pass up. Talk about target marketing strategies! Proof that Canadians are clever too.

IKEA

I am now officially an expert at assembling IKEA furniture. Since starting this job 2 months ago I have built 2 desks, a book case, 3 rolling stand-alone drawers and 2 office chairs. Don't get me wrong, I love IKEA, but you have to get a little creative to assemble some of this stuff since there are no words in the directions. There is only a little naked Swedish man (who looks like he's related by blood to the Macintosh man) that frowns, smiles, strains his back and looks confused (the universally understood faces). So, if any of you have trouble assembling anything call me, I'm now fluent in IKEA.

The Grand Finale

After 4 long months and a lot of work and anxiety, my audition process is finally over, and I couldn't be more glad (about it being over). Last night, I faced one of the most terrifying scenes I've ever faced (pictured above) and I'm proud to say that I didn't pass out, I didn't throw up, and I walked out of that room under my own power! I won't go into detail, but suffice it to say, that beginning earlier that day, I started to get one of those "perhaps it's not meant to be right now" feelings. Those feelings were reinforced multiple times as my audition went on. First was my interview with the choir president. He was very kind, but very direct in telling me how hesitant the choir is to bring in "younger" members. There were several reasons, but he left me with the overall impression that I ought not be discouraged if I'm not accepted on my first try. Apparently it's more of a rare occasion to get in on try one. He expressed that coming back a second time is often all it takes to prove one's commitment level. The audition itself was terrifying, but Craig and Mack were very nice. Overall, there were parts of the audition that went better than I could have ever hoped, and other parts (difficult sight reading) that didn't go as well as I would have liked, but I am at peace with whatever the outcome (though I feel quite certain that it will be to try again). I'll know for sure in 2 weeks, but between those of us who passed the test this round, and others who were coming back for a 2nd or 3rd try, there were over 100 people who participated in the live audition. My chances are slim, but I'm very pleased with my rookie attempt and want to express appreciation for all the support and encouragement from all my family and friends, especially from Layne, my number one cheerleader. I don't know how I got so lucky in marriage, but I'm not going to ask questions. :) Thanks everybody! I hope I haven't let you down!

Children's Stories Never Published

I know you've all certainly seen these before, but I ran across it while cleaning out my inbox and got a good chuckle so I thought I'd post them for old time's sake.

Little Golden books that didn't quite make it onto the shelves:

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
   
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
   
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
   
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
   
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
   
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking.
   
7. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
   
8. All Cats Go to Hell
   
9. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
   
10. Some Puppies Can Fly
    
11. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
    
12. Grandpa Gets a Casket
    
13. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
    
14. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
    
15. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
    
16. Strangers Have the Best Candy
    
17. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
    
18. You Were an Accident
    
19. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
    
20. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
    
21. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
    
22. Your Nightmares Are Real
    
23. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
    
24. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
    
25. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
    
26. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
    
27. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
28. Kathy Was Bad So Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
    

Tikki Tikki Tembo...

Alright all, cast your minds back to the days of sitting on the floor in the aisles of children's section at the public library. Any of you who have actually read this book will recognize it instantly. This is the story of a 2 Chinese boys and their mother. One boy was given a long elaborate name, and the other's name was Chang. While playing one day, the boy with the long name fell in a well and Chang had to run fetch the old man with the ladder, but could not explain what happened because he was out of breath and his brother's name was too long. SO, lets see how well you remember! This whole thing started because my co-workers and I got in a debate about this. For 50 points, who can remember the full name of young Tikki Tikki Tembo? NO CHEATING! Post your answers and lets see who comes closest! I'll post what my answer was in the comments section as well.

Did You Know...

Some useless but interesting factoids to either impress or annoy your family and friends. This post is dedicated to Ashley Rogers, who brought to my attention that a perfect Saguaro cactus has no arms.

"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with the letters in alphabetical order.

It's impossible to kill yourself by holding your breath.

On average, right handed people live 9 years longer than left handed people.

The Elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.

Like finger prints, everyone has a different tongue print.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men. (Personal note: I wonder if this statistic was taken before or after the invention of makeup)

The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words.

Hitler was a vegetarian.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.

On average, more people fear spiders than they do death.

Americans eat an avg. of 18 acres of pizza per day.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The house fly hums in the middle octave key of F.

If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

The electric chair was invented by a Dentist.

Now don't you feel smarter?

Review

Greater Love -- ECU's CD (that I blogged about like a month ago) is FINALLY available for purchase even though it's been in the catalog for over a month, and was recently reviewed. Gothic Records CEO has recently touted Greater Love as "the best-sounding choral CD in the catalog".

Review continued:

"Gothic Catalog enthusiasts may recognize Greenville, NC, for its remarkable Fisk organ. Located in St Paul's Episcopal Church, this instrument enjoys a generous acoustic designed by Dana Kirkegaard. Last year, we published a spectacular recording with the organist and director of music of St Paul's, Janette Fishell ( Pas de Dieu: Music Sublime & Spirited). This year we went back to record the extraordinary ECU choir in St. Paul's, with Janette at the console. The result is one of the finest-sounding choral recordings we have ever made. The sound of this choir will take your breath away!" Sample their sound here.

"A solo organ work by Howells begins this disc, and sets the stage for the rest of the program. Howell's moving Requiem for a capella choir follows. I have heard many a choral singer say that this is the finest 20th-century work for choir, and it is hard to disagree, especially after hearing this performance."

Choral music is hardly popular, and is certainly not a common listening choice among most, but I am very proud to have been part of this recording.

Welcome to Mooseport

I've never lived anywhere where Moose can be seen crossing major highways, so imagine my surprise when on my routine drive to the University of Utah for work one morning, I happened upon a HUGE bull moose attempting to cross I-80. At first glance he just looked like a huge black blob, but as I got closer he materialized and I think I had to do a triple take to convince myself that it was indeed a Moose, in Salt Lake City, UT, in the median of the highway. I have since confirmed with other natives that indeed there are Moose in these parts and they do venture out on occasion for a trip into the city. So, there you go. Moose in Utah. Who knew?

Popular Mechanics Breakthrough Award

Prototype Arm & matching sleeve

Trial run

This is a prototype of the bionic arm that is being developed under the DARPA project (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) which I'm working on. The arm has won a Popular Mechanics breakthrough award. Click here Proto 2 Robotic Arm: Hands-on First Look
to watch the short video clip about it. Toward the end they show one of the larger peripheral nerve electrode arrays that I have been building. Cool stuff!!

I passed!

I wanted to follow up on my post just a few days ago about the MoTab exam I took last week. While I wasn't expecting the results for 2 weeks yet, I got my letter yesterday, and surprisingly enough, I did quite well! So on Wed. Oct. 24th I will have my live audition with Craig Jessop and Mack Wilberg. To say that I'm terrified is probably a gross understatement, and I have only a mere 10 days to prepare the piece they sent along with the other things I'll be required to sing, but once again, all I can do is my best. In all honsety, this will most likely be the end of the line for me, but I never thought I would have made it this far!

It's Time to Celebrate Diwali!

At my job, I am a minority, probably for the first time in my working life. I LOVE diversity and enjoy being surrounded by different cultures and back grounds. Currently working on my project, there are 3 Americans (myself included), 3 Chinese, 4 Germans, 5 Indians, a Bulgarian and one guy from Bekistan. I work very closely with 4 of the Indian guys (Chola, Sandeep, Raj, & Prashant) and have really enjoyed getting to know them. I was especially delighted when Sandeep asked me yesterday afternoon if I'd like to perform at their festival of lights. I responded, "Oh you mean Diwali?" Naturally, he was shocked that I knew what that was, but when he inquired as to how, I stealthly changed the subject. How embarrassing would it be to tell him that everything I know about desi-American culture I learned from watching The Office? I'm so excited though! I've got to find a good cheer leader uniform that covers my G's. I'll try the Salt Lake Distribution Center.

The Musical Bar Exam

The Mo Tab music exam which I took on Tuesday night was one of the most thorough and difficult tests I've ever taken. After 4 weeks of intense study, I took the exam along with 107 others, and I couldn't be happier that its behind me. A lawyer who is a member of the choir compared this test to the bar exam. I now understand what he means. After nearly 3 hours of intense non-stop testing on every element of music imaginable, I think the majority of the group (including myself & many who were on their 2nd or 3rd try) left the tabernacle feeling rather deflated about their performance. I have no idea how I did, but I don't suspect that I did very well, especially since the lady sitting next to me insisted on humming through the whole thing even though it was strictly forbidden. It was more than just a little distracting. I'll know for sure in 2 weeks when I get my results, but I'm not expecting fabulous news. I suppose I wasn't off to a very good start when 3 people told me I was too young to be there before I even made it to my seat. If nothing else, I have gained a healthy new respect for the people who actually make it into the choir, especially on their first try! Thanks to all who wished me luck and were so encouraging!

Bonehead Candidate of the Month - Vote Now!

Plymouth, Indiana - A 4th grade teacher's aide resigns after attempting to staple a piece of paper to a student's forehead. Neither the aide, nor the superintendent would comment on the incident.




It's all fun and games until someone loses a spleen! At Dreyfus Intermediate School on Staten Island, New York, the "quiet game" involves the students sitting quietly, and the first child to break the silence by speaking gets a text book thrown at them. While being allowed by their teacher to play this game, 13 yr. old Chaz was hit in the abdomen by a book causing his spleen to rupture. A 14 yr. old girl was arrested for attempted felony assault and menacing, and the teacher is under investigation.




Casselberry, Florida - A family places a 911 emergency call for 1 yr. old Joey who had fallen into a pool and nearly drowned. The responding officer Police Sgt. Andrea Eichhorn, slipped on a puddle of water on the floor and broke her knee, causing her to miss 2 months of work. She is now suing the family, alleging that they intentionally left the puddle on the floor after dragging the boy's sopping body into the house, causing her accident during the rescue attempt. The boy was resuscitated but suffered brain damage and can't walk, talk or swallow. He now lives in a nursing home and eats and breathes through tubes. Sgt. Eichhorn seeks damages in an unspecified amount.

Death by Toast. UK- Martin Jennings, a severely ill patient on a strict soft foods only diet, died after his nurses gave him toast with his breakfast and lumps of the bread lodged in his wind pipe. Despite the warning notice posted on his bed, and the nurses being fully aware that he could not be given solid foods, they proceeded to serve him toast because, as they told the judge, they believed "it was his basic human right to have toast if he wanted it".





Deaf man attacked for being rude. FORT WORTH -- A store cashier at the Family Dollar struck a deaf customer in the head with a crowbar after he tried to strike up a friendly conversation with the customer and he didn't respond. The 20 yr. old cashier claims he mistook the man's silence for rudeness and disrespect, and is facing a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Police arrived on the scene and informed the outraged cashier that the customer was deaf, to which he responded; "Oh".

Vote now!

The Face of a Doritos Addiction

The Mom Song

Funny T-shirts I've Seen on People Recently

Love is On the Way

It's Spanish for "Lawsuit"

Her life has probably been rough enough what with the cancer, being a diabetic, living in Pima county, and having a name like "Elvira" and all. But if I were 67-year old Elvira Tellez, I think being left in a CT scanner for 5 hours and forgotten about would be the final straw. I present to you Bonehead of the Month candidate #1. Technician puts a 67-year old women in a CT scanner, turns off the lights, locks the doors to the office and goes home for the night. OOPS! Fortunately old Elvira was able to wriggle herself out over the course of 5 HOURS and call the police when she realized she was locked inside the abandoned oncology office. Good thing she didn't have a heart attack! Note to self: Next time you go in for a CT scan, lather up with Crisco first just in case you're left in the tube.

The New Fuel Pump

I've seen people do a LOT of things while driving, such as talking on cell phones, eating, applying make up, doing hair, clipping finger nails and even changing clothes. While dangerous, these things can easily be considered within the realm of "normality". However, the other day while I was stuck in the usual Foothill Blvd. traffic on my way to work, I found myself driving next to a woman in the adjacent lane who had her window down. I happened to glance over and notice that she had pulled one side of her tank top down and was pumping breast milk for all to see! Yes, you heard me, swing low sweet chariot! When she finished with one side, she pulled the suction cup off and gave it a good shake out the window before pumping the other side. I would have had to change lanes to get my car out of the splash zone. I know some of these breast pumps come with car chargers, but I'm pretty sure that isn't to encourage pumping WHILE driving in heavy traffic with your window down. Come on people, there is no need for that...unless your car runs on breast milk... but I don't know if our environment can handle those kinds of emissions.