Monday, March 31, 2008

April-Gowks

While April Fools day isn't really a holiday, it is celebrated all over the world (except by the Chinese who have condemned it as "a dangerous Western tradition", "an extremely bad influence" and a "Liar's Day". Thats probably just because they've been fooled so well in the past. There seems to be a lot of debate as to the true origins of April Fools day, but a general agreement that it is a relic of once common festivities held on the vernal equinox which began on old new years day (March 25th) and ended on April 2nd. In Scotland the custom was known as "hunting the Gowk" ie. the cuckoo, and April Fools were April-Gowks. I've participated in a few April fools pranks in my time, but nothing too big. Utah gave me a good April Fool's day prank in the form of another 4 inches of snow this morning, so I think thats enough for me this year. Anyone have any April-Gowks worth bragging about? Here's a look back on 10 of the most well known April Fool's day pranks and hoaxes. Happy Fooling!

The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest
spaghetti harvest In 1957 the respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied that they should "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

Sidd Finch
Sidd Finch In its April 1985 edition, Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. But in reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George Plimpton.

The Taco Liberty Bell
Taco Liberty BellIn 1996 the Taco Bell Corporation announced that it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

Alabama Changes the Value of Pi
The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0. Before long the article had made its way onto the internet, and then it rapidly made its way around the world, forwarded by people in their email. It only became apparent how far the article had spread when the Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by a physicist named Mark Boslough.

The Left-Handed Whopper
In 1998 Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."

Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity
In 1976 the British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on BBC Radio 2 that at 9:47 AM a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event was going to occur that listeners could experience in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, temporarily causing a gravitational alignment that would counteract and lessen the Earth's own gravity. Moore told his listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment that this planetary alignment occurred, they would experience a strange floating sensation. When 9:47 AM arrived, BBC2 began to receive hundreds of phone calls from listeners claiming to have felt the sensation. One woman even reported that she and her eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room.

Migrant Mother Makeover
In its April 2005 issue, Popular Photography ran an article titled "Can these photos be saved?" about how to remove unsightly wrinkles from photographic subjects. They chose, as an example of a photo that "needed to be saved," Dorothea Lange's "Migrant Mother" photo taken in 1936 during the Great Depression. Lange's photo is one of the most widely admired in the world. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to describe it as the Mona Lisa of photographs, and the Migrant Mother's stoic expression is what makes the image great. Nevertheless, the editors of Popular Photography erased her wrinkles, softened her gaze, and removed her kids, transforming her from an iconic symbol of endurance into a smooth-faced, worry-free soccer mom. Their readers were horrified, not realizing the article was a spoof on the way magazines routinely touch-up celebrity images to remove blemishes and wrinkles. Hundreds wrote in expressing outrage at the defacement of such a classic image. To which the editors replied: Look at the date it was published!

The Derbyshire Fairy
In late March 2007, images of an 8-inch mummified creature resembling a fairy were posted on the website of the Lebanon Circle Magik Co. Accompanying text explained how the creature had been found by a man walking his dog along an old roman road in rural Derbyshire. Word of this discovery soon spread around the internet. Bloggers excitedly speculated about whether the find was evidence of the actual existence of fairies. By April 1 the Lebanon Circle website had received tens of thousands of visitors and hundreds of emails. But at the end of April 1, Dan Baines, the owner of the site, confessed that the fairy was a hoax. He had used his skills as a magician's prop-maker to create the creature. Baines later reported that, even after his confession, he continued to receive numerous emails from people who refused to accept the fairy wasn't real.

Operation Parallax
In 1979 London's Capital Radio announced that Operation Parallax would soon go into effect. This was a government plan to resynchronize the British calendar with the rest of the world. It was explained that ever since 1945 Britain had gradually become 48 hours ahead of all other countries because of the constant switching back and forth from British Summer Time. To remedy this situation, the British government had decided to cancel April 5 and 12 that year. Capital Radio received numerous calls as a result of this announcement. One employer wanted to know if she had to pay her employees for the missing days. Another woman was curious about what would happen to her birthday, which fell on one of the canceled days.


Big Ben Goes Digital
image In 1980 the BBC reported that Big Ben, in order to keep up with the times, was going to be given a digital readout. It received a huge response from listeners protesting the change. The BBC Japanese service also announced that the clock hands would be sold to the first four listeners to contact them, and one Japanese seaman in the mid-Atlantic immediately radioed in a bid.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

I looked out the window and what did I see...

That certainly ain't popcorn! It's snow...again... I seriously can't believe that Jack Frost is paying the Salt Lake valley yet ANOTHER visit today. The first snow like this happened in September and here we are about 7 months later still getting it! Talk about a guest that has worn out his welcome!

This has turned out to be a week of all sorts of fun, starting with my car breaking down on Monday. I left work around 5:00 on Monday and got about a quarter mile down the road when suddenly my steering wheel completely locked up. I pulled over and assumed the "help me I know nothing about cars" position: turn hazard lights on, prop the hood open and bend over the engine looking completely dumbfounded. I called my mechanic and he told me it sounded like a fan belt problem. Sure enough, I managed to locate the shredded fan belt, and had to call a tow truck. Meanwhile dozens of cars (including co-workers) passed by without stopping which always feels nice. Finally one very nice young guy stopped and asked if I needed help. It was a sobering experience to realize that only 1 out of 5o people stopped to see if I needed help. Do I look scary or something? Perhaps the color of my car hurts peoples eyes. Perhaps I need to work on my helpless look. Anyway, over $300 later, my car is now fixed in spite of the tow truck driver who had the intellectual equivalence of a box of rocks and whose prior residence was most likely the corn field on the set of Hee Haw. I suppose I should look on the bright side of things. At least my car didn't break down today in the snow. At least my car broke down in a very convenient spot and not on the freeway in rush hour traffic. At least it wasn't my transmission or my engine that went out. It's always a helpful exercise to look for those little blessings in disguise. Why do blessings have to wear disguises anyway? If I were a blessing, I think I'd run around naked. Alas...I digress.

For mutual last night I took my hives to a shelter for battered women and children in downtown SLC with a bunch of donated items the ward had gathered. They learned what the term "domestic violence" means. Being there sure made me grateful for my wonderful husband and my loving father.

Speaking of my loving father, he sent me these thought provoking questions by comedian/actor George Carlin that gave me pause to ponder on some other important things. They really made me take a long hard look at my stance on certain issues facing our society today.

*Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant a lot like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

*If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

*Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

*If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

*Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

*Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?

*When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?

*Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

*If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?

*If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

*I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

*Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail?

*If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

*Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

*Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Playing Picaboo & The Ham Line

We had a lovely Easter weekend that just went by too fast! Friday night we drove down to Provo for my great uncle Fred Lisonbee's 90th birthday bash. They really went all out! He served his mission in Samoa so they had fire dancers (who nearly burned the church down) and all sorts of cool stuff. If I look as good as he does at 90 I'll be a happy camper.

Saturday afternoon Layne and I decided to get one last trip to Brighton in before all the snow melts. It was sunny and gorgeous and we had a blast! There certainly was no powder, but that meant it was perfect conditions for speed skiing. During our last hour on the hill we decided to time ourselves and see just how fast we could finish the run if we just bombed the whole way down. We rode the lift to the top of the mountain and using our mp3 player, Layne timed us 3 times. Since it was our last trip of the season, I decided not to hold back and went totally Picaboo Street, crouching, tucking my poles behind my back and pointing straight down. I made it from the top of the mountain to the bottom (from nearly11,000 ft. of elevation to 8,500ft.) in 2 minutes 30 seconds! If there had been no other people on the hill, I'm certain I could've done it in 2 minutes flat. Layne could never quite catch me, though he did get hosed up by people cutting in front of him a few times. It was the fastest I've ever skied and a lot of fun. It's nice to let the dare devil out once in a while.

Easter Sunday is one of those holidays when you really miss your family if you don't live at home. When we lived in North Carolina, Layne and I were adopted by the Holloman family for such holidays, so we never felt like we were missing out on anything. This year however, it was just Layne and Kim and I, but we tried to make the most of it. While there were no colorful eggs involved, I did put together a mean spread for dinner. Layne had gotten a gift certificate for a free 7lb Honeybaked Ham and Kim was a sport and stood in line for us for a half hour to get it on Saturday while we were skiing. By the time she made it to the front of the line, all they had left were 9.5lb hams (half a pig) so she paid the extra $15 and brought it home. She lovingly named him Bart, which I thought was perfect. On a side note, if you're the Honeybaked Ham Co., and only do big business maybe 3 times a year, and all you sell is ham, wouldn't you try really hard NOT run out by mid afternoon!? I mean come on, you KNOW that people want ham for Easter, so wouldn't you have like 4 refrigerated trucks filled with ham sitting outside the store the Saturday before? One would think thats a pretty simple business model right? Well, one would be wrong! There was a line out the door and around the corner ALL day (you'd think it was splash mountain or something), and of course they ran out of ham and people got REALLY angry. Fortunately we were not among those people thanks to my patient sister. In addition to Bart's presence at our table, we had pasta salad, funeral potatoes (we're in Utah now, what did you expect?), warm rolls, jello salad, sparkling cider and my favorite of my mom's desert recipes, cherry cheesecake. Yes, I was a busy cook on Sunday. And thanks to Bart (who was DELICIOUS by the way), we'll be eating leftovers for another week! All in all, it was a great weekend.

Oh and I had to post this picture my dad sent me of my little bro back at home being a good sport and hiding eggs for the kids. Way to go Dane!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Red Roux & A Book Review

Yesterday my co-worker had to take her dog to the vet first thing in the morning. She picked him up about mid day and he spent the rest of the day in the office with us. His name is Roux and he's a big red standard poodle that looks a lot like this one. Very sweet and friendly, Roux spent a great deal of the day with his head on my lap, nudging me ever so often to scratch his head or rub his neck. A lot of people were drawn into the office because they wanted to see and pet the dog. As I've mentioned before, there is quite an International variety of individuals around our office, and one guy who was particularly interested in Roux (pronounced Rue) happened to be Chinese. He came in, pet the dog, and asked what his name was. My co-worked told him it was Roux, to which he replied, "Loo?". "No, Roux" she said putting more emphasis on the 'R'. He looked back at the dog and said, "Oooooh Loo! Hi Loo! Good boy Loo!" She and I caught each others glances and immediately had to look away. As soon as he had left the office, she turned quietly to me and sang, "Deck the harrs with berrs of horry, fa ra ra ra raaaaa, ra ra ra raaaaa." I thought I was going to die laughing. If you've never seen A Christmas Story that won't make much sense, so I'd suggest you go rent it.

On Wed. I finished a book that I bought for Kim and I to read together during the long drive to and from AZ for my grandma's funeral. I've been getting a little tired of John Grisham lately so I decided to go a different route for this trip. As Angels and Demons is probably one of my favorite books of all time and The Da Vinci Code was also a great read, I thought I should give some of Dan Brown's other work a try. I'm happy to report that he didn't disappoint! While its impossible for him to top Angels and Demons, this fast paced political/science fiction thriller was a fun read complete with the cliff hangers and twists that Dan Brown is so good at. So if you're looking for a fun read, and have enjoyed Dan's other books, I highly recommend Deception Point.


Thursday, March 20, 2008

Eating OUT

Tired of the same old sea level restaurants? Here's a new twist on eating out.

Dining in the Sky

Don't drop your fork!

The pianist & violinist aren't even strapped in!

The worlds first undersea restaurant opens at the Hilton Maldives Resort & Spa on Rangali Island 5 meters below the surface in the Indian Ocean.

Seafood anyone?

I'm not sure claustrophobics would enjoy this. Perhaps Prozac is on the menu as an appetizer.



Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Magic Man

Ever since I was a little kid I've been captivated by good magicians. I used to watch the David Copperfield show with my brother and sister and marvel at how he could make an entire train disappear.
While you don't see as many "stage" magicians like Copperfield these days, there is an abundance of "street" magicians such as David Blaine, who do some pretty amazing things. My co-worker showed this to me and I felt like a little kid again watching it. I don't know who this guy is, but he's pretty dang good! Enjoy The Orange, the Lemon & the Egg!


Monday, March 17, 2008

Kiss Me, I'm Irish!

Happy St. Patricks Day! I can't believe I forgot to wear my kiss me, I'm Irish pin today! St. Patty's day is a special opportunity for me to honor my Irish heritage. With a name like Kelly Flaherty, it's not hard for one to guess my ancestry. So here are some interesting facts about the O'Flaherty's. The Flaherty family motto is "Fortunas Favet Fortibus" which roughly translates to "Fortune Favors Those with Fortitude" (Inner Strength). Our family crest or coat of arms features the heraldic symbols of the lion, the red hand and the boat. The lion is supposed to represent fierce courage. The red open hand is called the mark of the Baronet. There seems to be some variety of opinions on meaning, but I heard a really cool story about it so I'll go with that. It claims that at some point in O'Flaherty history, there was a boat race to claim land. The chieftan who touched the shore first would claim the area for his clan. When it looked like he might lose the race, the cheiftan of the O'Flaherty clan cut off his hand and threw it to the shore, ahead of his opponents, claiming the land for the O'Flahertys.

The history of the name O'Flaherty comes from the name O'Flaithbertaig (10th century AD) meaning 'son of the bright ruler'. When converted from Gaelic to English it becomes O'Flaherty. When my ancestors traveled to America, the "O" was chopped off at Ellis Island in an effort to shorten names.
The O'Flaherty clan emerged from Viking wars and was henceforth characterized by courage and skill in battle. That is why around 1092 many Norman litanies included the line; "From the ferocious O'Flahertys, O Lord, deliver us." The phrase "Ferocious O'Flaherty's" stuck for centuries, but the clan is now known as an extremely hospitable and prosperous people. So, there you go! I'm proud of my maiden name and of my family however ferocious they were. :) I thought about getting Layne this shirt for the occasion. What do you think?

Friday, March 14, 2008

The groundhog who cried wolf & "I'm on the can and I can't get up!"

Apparently Salt Lake City has a very fickle groundhog. It appears that he has changed his mind about winter being over as evidenced by the dumping of snow this morning. Next week is spring break for crying out loud. Whats a girl gotta do to get a little spring around here? Of course, if you never leave the bathroom, it doesn't really matter what the weather is like. This story was just too good not to share.
Wichita, Kansas - Authorities are considering charges in a bizzare case in which a 35 year old woman sat on her boyfriend's toilet for 2 years and refused to leave. Her boyfriend finally called the police to report that there was "something wrong with his girlfriend". YA THINK!? He never told the sheriff why it took him 2 YEARS to call! He said he brought her food and water and had normal conversation with her every day. Each day he would ask her to leave the bathroom to which she would reply, "Maybe tomorrow." When paramedics arrived, they found that her skin had grown around the seat. They removed the seat with a crow bar and the seat accompanied her on a 150 mile journey to the hospital where it was surgically removed against her will.

Can anyone explain this one to me?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Back in the Saddle

First of all, thanks to everyone for their condolences and sweet thoughts regarding my grandma. My heart goes out to those who have to deal with a loss and don't have the support of amazing family and friends. I don't know how I would ever deal with tragedy if I felt alone. It was a whirlwind of a weekend driving to AZ for the funeral and back, but of course well worth the effort. Without going into detail, I left the experience with an intense feeling of responsibility to honor the legacy of my grandparents by living the way they did. I've got a long way to go! It was really nice to be together with the family as always. I'll post some pictures soon. To say that it was hard to come back is the understatement of the century. It's always disappointing to find that the world keeps right on going while you're in the middle of something big, and when you come back, there is a smelly and growing pile of "life" waiting for you right where you left it. Time to tend to the pile.

One bit of good news I got right before leaving town was that I got a raise. For the first time in my life, I asked for a raise. I haven't even reached my one year mark here yet, but with a little encouragement from mi marido, I mustered up the guts and was actually brazened enough to approach my boss about it a few weeks ago. Those of you who knew the younger me are probably wondering what on earth happened to "non-confrontational Kelly". The answer to that question is Layne Michael Nelson, and a few more ounces of self confidence. All I can say is I just thought I deserved it! My boss was actually really cool about it. I used some of the negotiation tactics I learned from watching The Office (specifically Season 3 episode "The Negotiation"). I walked right in and used the phrase Michael uses in video clip below right before he went in to ask for a raise. Worked like a charm. :)


Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Till we meet at Jesus' feet

A few hours ago I got a call from my mother telling me that my grandma Church had passed away peacefully around noon today. While we knew it wasn't far away, such news is never easy to take. My co-workers sent me home after getting the call to make travel prepartions to attend the funeral in AZ on Saturday and I have since been reflecting on the life of Ida Smith Church who would have been 92 years old on May 9th. As a means of therapy for me, I thought I'd write down some of my thoughts and feelings and favorite memories of my grandma while still fresh in my mind.
I could write a book about how wonderful this woman was, but I'll share a few things that are special to me.

As a young child I was convinced that the candy "Jolly Ranchers" was in fact named after my grandma and grandpa Church. They were sweet, always jolly and were for a time, ranchers as well. Not only that, but all through my youth, grandma's purse and granpa's pockets always had Jolly Ranchers in them. No matter what the occasion or how many grandkids were around, grandma always managed to have enough Jolly Ranchers in her purse for everyone.

One of my grandma's true loves in life was music, and it wasn't hard to tell. It's a love that I like to think I inherited from her through my mother. She had a beautiful voice and could play the piano very well. She was even my piano teacher for a time early on in my development. What I remember most however were her skills on the organ. When she played the organ (which she loved to do) it was as second nature to her as using a fork and knife to me. She practically had the entire hymnal memorized and even in her later years when eye sight began to fail her, she could still play amazingly well because she knew it by feel. She could take requests and transpose into just about any key on the spot adding beautiful, sometimes elaborate introductions and filler notes. I used to love to hear her play, and it brought such a peace into her home.

I don't own many things of value, but I do have a number of prized possesions, one of which is my Quillow that grandma made for me. For those of you unfamiliar with the quillow, it's a quilt with a square pocket sewn on the bottom which enables the quilt to fold into a pillow. Grandma made these for all her grandkids back in the day, and while I have long since forgotten the correct method for folding the quillow into a pillow, I still treasure it and Layne can tell you that rarely an evening passes that I don't end up wrapped in it at some point. When I can't sleep, it is still the first thing I turn to. Grandma made my quillow one summer when they picked me up from girls camp and I got to stay with them in Snowflake for a week, just the 3 of us. Grandma took me to the fabric store and told me I could choose any fabric I wanted for my quillow. Being the silly 12 year old that I was, I selected a loud teal colored fabric covered with penguins on the beach playing sand volleyball and surfing. Grandma asked if I were sure thats what I wanted and when I said I was, she measured and bought the fabric and never criticized my choice or told me I'd regret it when I was older. Thats just the way she was. I helped and watched as she sewed my quillow that week and have loved "my penguins" ever since.

Grandma seemed to understand more keenly than anyone what it was like to be a child, which I suppose is only natural since she had 9 of them herself. My siblings and I had more than 1 birthday party at their pool when they lived in their condo by the temple. She never made us feel foolish for the games we'd play and would often join right in! She also understood how hungry kids get after several hours of intense "pretending" out in the yard and always seemed to have a snack of fruit, or her favorite Club crackers waiting for us when we came inside to rest our imaginations for a while.
Grandma was the model of a Latter Day Saint woman to me. In addition to being a wonderful mother and wife, she epitomized church service. She took me with her several times to visit people in need in her ward, always with food or some other offering. During a difficult time in my own family's life, it seemed not a week went by without grandma stopping by to help out (usually multiple times), ALWAYS bringing her famous stew, homemade bread and lemon cake. She and my grandpa served many years on a mission and in temples. She was a rock of faith, even after her mother accidentally backed over her 1 year old son with a car taking his life. I knew at a very young age that there was nothing she would not do for the church or the Lord.

Grandma started recycling long before cities handed out the blue cans. I'll bet some of her old butter tubs and cool whip containers are still in circulation!

Grandma gave all her grandkids a dollar for their birthdays. That doesn't sound too impressive, but with 50-something grandkids that is a feat! As sure as the sun rises I could count on getting a thoughtful handwritten card and my birthday dollar every year on or before my birthday. It always made it special.

Christmas just wasn't Christmas without grandma's famous (and sometimes very colorful) popcorn balls. I just realized that I've now used the word "famous" in conjunction with food multiple times, which should tell you something about her cooking. You've never had a popcorn ball until you've had one of hers. They were extremely messy and you could glue your teeth together if you bit down too hard, but they were delicious, and special for Christmas. I wonder how much time she spent making popcorn balls for everyone over the years.
Grandma was an amazing missionary. Throughout the later years, she spent a lot of time in various different assisted living facilities and hospitals, especially after grandpa's passing. It was never long after moving into a new place that she'd ask her kids and grandkids to come over for a big family home evening of music and sharing of talents and testimonies. She always managed to pack the rec room of every facility she ever stayed in with non-members she had invited to participate in an FHE. She taught me that it doesn't matter if you're in a wheel chair, have a broken hip, a head full of grey hair or are without a spouse, everyone can be a missionary no matter where they are.

A lot of grandma's legacy is made up of the things she didn't do as well as those she did:

Never an angry word
Never a complaint
Never a missed opportunity to serve
Never a visit without a hug and a kiss
Never a forgotten birthday
Never a lost temper
Never a dirty house
Never a turned down calling
Never a bad deed
Never a selfish desire
Never a lack of faith
Never a wasted moment
Never a wasted morcel of food
Never a day without prayer
Never an ounce of pride
Never a raised voice
Never a hurtful comment
Always love. Always.

I love you grandma!

Monday, March 3, 2008

Stake Conference, The Big Cactus and Job Hazzards

There are still things about living in Utah that we find odd or at least different. I know those of you who are Utah natives may think me strange for finding this funny, but I just had to snap a drive by picture of this sign. It has been sitting in our church building's lawn facing a major road all week leading up to stake conference this weekend. Is that funny to anyone else? I've just never seen that before! They had similar signs in front of other buildings in our stake as well.

Anyway, so obviously we had stake conference this weekend and it was great! We had visiting apostle Elder Craig C. Christensen of the 70, Jordan River Temple President Crump and his wife, as well as the mission president of the mission here and wife. We kicked things off Saturday evening at the adult session which was probably my fav. The best was a quote by sis. Crump. "In this chapter, Jesus was admonistering His diciples to..." I love it when 2 words become one! Then I was able to attend an early morning stake youth session Sunday where I found out that an 18 year old young man in our ward had committed suicide the day before. The youth were visibly shaken up by it. What a tragedy! My heart goes out to his family and friends. That is probably one of the most difficult things in the world to deal with. We're going to have a special mutual this Wed. to talk to the kids about it, kinda like a group therapy session. I hope it helps.

Speaking of tragedies, how 'bout them Suns? We have now fallen to 7th place in the West and are a mere 3 games from getting knocked out of the playoffs altogether. Anyone who is still riding the "the big cactus was a GREAT trade" bandwagon can see me personally for counseling. We're witnessing our season, our team, and our fun to watch games go down the tubes. I couldn't be more heartbroken to watch it happen. I will ALWAYS cheer for my boys in purple, but it does NOT look pretty folks! The season isn't over yet, so I'll hold my "told you so" until it is, but for the record, I NEVER thought this was a good thing for our team, even after the Lakers game. And Nedra, this is not just pessimism talking. :)

This week is going to be a really tough week at work for me. Due to some problems with funding, some of our key players are going to be locked out of the lab for 4-6 weeks starting today while the issues are sorted out. Meanwhile, I have been elected to learn all their processes so we can keep the work going. Many of these involve yet more fun chemicals and acids that I'm not particularly thrilled to be using. Layne was less than pleased with that news last night as we were going to bed. However, I did a little research this morning and found out that there are a lot of jobs that are more hazardous than mine. Take being a runway model for example. In order to be at the top you have to starve yourself, never sleep (to achieve that pale faced, baggy eyed look), not to mention the risks associated with traversing the catwalk in some of the most heinous and impractical shoes ever conceptualized by the human mind. I found a lot of funny videos of runway models meeting with accidents, but this was one of my favs because of the (Southern) news anchors. So Layne, don't worry about me, at least I get to wear sneakers to work. The rest will sort itself out!