Happy Halloween!

I'm not quite sure what it is about the smell of pumpkin innards that raises my spirits, but last night Kim and I carved a couple pumpkins (courtesy of the Despain garden) and we were both significantly cheered by the exercise! I love carving pumpkins. It appeals to my inner arteest. Admittedly this year I didn't put as much time and effort into my gutted gourd creation as I have in years past, but I think my little Frankenstein turned out well all things considered. I found it amusing to hear on the radio this morning that the state of Iowa has now placed a tax on purchasing pumpkins because they have decided that pumpkins are no longer a food, but rather a decoration. So ridiculous! I think that means I need to go make some pumpkin cookies. Happy Halloween everyone! Be safe and take lots of pictures of your cute costumed children to post on your blogs!

Office Pranks

This morning I arrived at my desk to find that my chair had been lowered all the way, there was a big sign saying, "You're Fired" on my computer screen, and someone had used misc. office supplies to form a skull and cross bones on my desk. This is not the first time. The guys I share an office with (most of whom are engineering grad students) like to play office pranks on me, and I'm no stranger to retaliation to be sure. As I was brainstorming my revenge, I came across these other office pranks that others have pulled. I know most of you have been involved in an office prank or two so please share! The last good one I remember involved huge amounts of hole punch waste and a clean freak's cubicle. Free, quick, easy, Priceless! If I recall, he spent hours with one of those little roller vacuums. I'm not the kind who would spend ridiculous amounts of time or money to pull off an office prank (at least not by myself), but I've got to give props to the mastermind behind the foil-wrapped cubicle! That must have taken forever!! And Peeps on the ceiling, genius!

Divorce Attorney's Ad

This Canadian attorney's ad was just too good to pass up. Talk about target marketing strategies! Proof that Canadians are clever too.

IKEA

I am now officially an expert at assembling IKEA furniture. Since starting this job 2 months ago I have built 2 desks, a book case, 3 rolling stand-alone drawers and 2 office chairs. Don't get me wrong, I love IKEA, but you have to get a little creative to assemble some of this stuff since there are no words in the directions. There is only a little naked Swedish man (who looks like he's related by blood to the Macintosh man) that frowns, smiles, strains his back and looks confused (the universally understood faces). So, if any of you have trouble assembling anything call me, I'm now fluent in IKEA.

The Grand Finale

After 4 long months and a lot of work and anxiety, my audition process is finally over, and I couldn't be more glad (about it being over). Last night, I faced one of the most terrifying scenes I've ever faced (pictured above) and I'm proud to say that I didn't pass out, I didn't throw up, and I walked out of that room under my own power! I won't go into detail, but suffice it to say, that beginning earlier that day, I started to get one of those "perhaps it's not meant to be right now" feelings. Those feelings were reinforced multiple times as my audition went on. First was my interview with the choir president. He was very kind, but very direct in telling me how hesitant the choir is to bring in "younger" members. There were several reasons, but he left me with the overall impression that I ought not be discouraged if I'm not accepted on my first try. Apparently it's more of a rare occasion to get in on try one. He expressed that coming back a second time is often all it takes to prove one's commitment level. The audition itself was terrifying, but Craig and Mack were very nice. Overall, there were parts of the audition that went better than I could have ever hoped, and other parts (difficult sight reading) that didn't go as well as I would have liked, but I am at peace with whatever the outcome (though I feel quite certain that it will be to try again). I'll know for sure in 2 weeks, but between those of us who passed the test this round, and others who were coming back for a 2nd or 3rd try, there were over 100 people who participated in the live audition. My chances are slim, but I'm very pleased with my rookie attempt and want to express appreciation for all the support and encouragement from all my family and friends, especially from Layne, my number one cheerleader. I don't know how I got so lucky in marriage, but I'm not going to ask questions. :) Thanks everybody! I hope I haven't let you down!

Children's Stories Never Published

I know you've all certainly seen these before, but I ran across it while cleaning out my inbox and got a good chuckle so I thought I'd post them for old time's sake.

Little Golden books that didn't quite make it onto the shelves:

1. You Are Different and That's Bad
   
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
   
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
   
4. Fun Four-Letter Words to Know and Share
   
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
   
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking.
   
7. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
   
8. All Cats Go to Hell
   
9. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
   
10. Some Puppies Can Fly
    
11. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
    
12. Grandpa Gets a Casket
    
13. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
    
14. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
    
15. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
    
16. Strangers Have the Best Candy
    
17. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
    
18. You Were an Accident
    
19. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
    
20. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
    
21. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
    
22. Your Nightmares Are Real
    
23. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?
    
24. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
    
25. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
    
26. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
    
27. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
28. Kathy Was Bad So Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
    

Tikki Tikki Tembo...

Alright all, cast your minds back to the days of sitting on the floor in the aisles of children's section at the public library. Any of you who have actually read this book will recognize it instantly. This is the story of a 2 Chinese boys and their mother. One boy was given a long elaborate name, and the other's name was Chang. While playing one day, the boy with the long name fell in a well and Chang had to run fetch the old man with the ladder, but could not explain what happened because he was out of breath and his brother's name was too long. SO, lets see how well you remember! This whole thing started because my co-workers and I got in a debate about this. For 50 points, who can remember the full name of young Tikki Tikki Tembo? NO CHEATING! Post your answers and lets see who comes closest! I'll post what my answer was in the comments section as well.

Did You Know...

Some useless but interesting factoids to either impress or annoy your family and friends. This post is dedicated to Ashley Rogers, who brought to my attention that a perfect Saguaro cactus has no arms.

"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with the letters in alphabetical order.

It's impossible to kill yourself by holding your breath.

On average, right handed people live 9 years longer than left handed people.

The Elephant is the only mammal that can't jump.

Like finger prints, everyone has a different tongue print.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men. (Personal note: I wonder if this statistic was taken before or after the invention of makeup)

The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words.

Hitler was a vegetarian.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds.

On average, more people fear spiders than they do death.

Americans eat an avg. of 18 acres of pizza per day.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The house fly hums in the middle octave key of F.

If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

The electric chair was invented by a Dentist.

Now don't you feel smarter?