Ulcer Relief

So I'm SUPER stressed out today (for a handful of reasons) and won't have time to do a real post about it all until Sunday at the earliest, but I wanted to post some things people sent me that have made me laugh which I REALLY needed today! I can feel myself developing ulcers from nerves and stress. Hopefully these will give some others a chuckle as well.

This is a prank somebody pulled super gluing his friend's flip flops to the ground. So juvenile, but it tickled me something fierce!


China is ready for the Olympics and the resulting influx of English speaking tourists...



But taste like cat


Here, crippie, take my seat.


Great with flied lice


A separate entrance for Hos....why didn't I think of that?


Sounds better than canned water doesn't it?


Go over there to die, please. Thank you.


Good to know


Not nice. Some of my best friends are liquor heads.


Look up and down the aisle twice before proceeding...


Much tastier than the grown up variety..


It would be once you start chewing on it


Starbucks should be very afraid!


I wouldn't tickle this one


Weird, because horsebeans sound delicious.


Where every fashion aficionado in China shops!!!


I knew it!!


What?


If there's one thing we don't need help with...


'See you after the flight, Uncle Randy!'


Should be in front of half the hotels in town.


So this is where they all end up...

The Olympics, 'Sans Diego'

I can't believe how busy life has been lately. Unfortunately this week is going to be even worse! Layne and I had a lovely anniversary on Wed. He took me to one of our fav. places, Market Street Grill. Its actually where we went last year. We haven't been in a year because it's quite pricey, but mmm, mmm good! On our way to the restaurant I texted my Beehive adviser to wish her a happy anniversary (theirs is the same day as ours) and that I hoped they had a fun evening planned. While we were at dinner she texted me back to inform me that they were spending the evening making babies. Where do I even start with that?! TMI!!! Pardon me while I go poke out my mind's eye.

Layne bought me flowers and an assortment of thoughtful gifts, and bought all the stuff to make me a big breakfast that morning. I felt pampered for sure. We had hoped to go somewhere for our 5th like San Fransisco, but time and money wouldn't allow it this month. We're still planning to go somewhere as soon as our blasted property in N.C. sells. Oh how we pray for that every day!!

Saturday morning I met up with some friends to run through some music that we have to learn for our auditions this week. Layne spent most of the day hitting various new skate parks with his buddy Chad and some guy who goes by the name of "The Catfish". I just thought that was TOO good! Saturday evening my friend Ashley and I went to go see our friend Kiersten perform in her musical play "Pride and Prejudice" at the Scera shell outdoor theater in Orem. I must say she stole the show as an extremely snobby Caroline Bingly! It was a long show but we had a great time watching Kiersten and making fun of some of the other actors. Mrs. Bennett had a voice that could peel the enamel off your teeth! Boyz II Men will be performing at the shell later this month. I may have to put that on the calendar. :)

Sunday was a full day with meetings and such. I had a long talk in my car with one of my YW who got picked up by the cops over the weekend. Its certainly not the first time one of them has come to me in confidence needing a sounding board. One of the hardest parts about this calling is finding a balance between friend and leader. I struggle sometimes knowing what to say when one of my girls comes-a-confessin' like that looking for comfort, advice or sympathy. I try to follow the spirit, but it can be tough. Sometimes I just want to shake them and say, "Copernicus called. As it happens you're not the center of the universe after all!" I guess its good practice for when I'm a parent and I have to suppress that knee jerk reaction ("You did WHAT!?!?") when I'm told something like that. For a lot of these girls, its not their fault that they are struggling because they have parents with the backbone of a paramecium!

Oh, I just finished a book that I have to give really high marks to. I'll bet many of you have read it before. It's called "The Peacegiver" and it totally changed the way I look at certain biblical stories and gospel principals. 2 thumbs way up! I tend to be skeptical when it comes to "church books" written by non-church leaders. Often times they just end up being sappy and not always entirely doctrinally sound. Usually after a few chapters I'm yearning for the worldly cynicism of Barney the Dinosaur. This book was nothing like that however. I learned a lot and would recommend it to anyone. A big thanks to George Peterson for the recommendation! Now I'm on to book 3 of the Twilight series....

Last night Layne had his first league softball game with his new team the Expos, and I watched some more Olympics. Did anyone else see the Brazilian Diego Hypolito's floor exercise the other day? He was his country's best hope of obtaining the first ever medal in gymnastics and he did a great job all up until he went down like a box of rocks during a difficult tumbling pass. The look on his poor face was the same look I recall seeing on my little sister's face when a loving older brother told her that her cabbage patch "Willy Boy" had Leukemia. It nearly broke my heart. While the other gymnasts were busy marinating in their own testosterone, Diego broke down and cried. It was SOOOOO sad! I tip my hat to you Diego! There is no shame in the way you represented your country! Here's the video.

Happy Birthday Tim!

Yesterday was a special day but I didn't have a chance to blog about it. Yesterday was Timothy John Flaherty's birthday! I know how old he is, but I'm not going to say because anyone that doesn't know would most certainly guess that he's younger than he is because he takes such good care of himself! (He's on the right in this picture). My dad and I are a LOT a like. So much so in fact that during my adolescence, it proved to make things difficult between us at times. I've called him a lot of things throughout my life; dad, coach, editor, teacher, and Bishop. But now as an adult I am privileged to be able to call him friend. I credit my dad for any athletic ability I have, my sense of humor, my good grammar, my extraordinarily high arches, my love of literature and writing, my ability to speak in public, and my skill for arguing a point. :) Thanks dad, and happy birthday! I love you!

Nickel Anniversary

On this day 5 years ago Layne and I were sealed for T&E in the Mesa, AZ temple. That day was hands down the best day of my life! I think of Layne as a gift. If our lives were the office secret Santa gift exchange he'd be the video iPod and I'd be the homemade oven mitt. Its amazing how content one can be to be an oven mitt when you're married to a video iPod! :) I feel so blessed and so happy. I've never been one of those soul mate searchers who thinks there is a "one" person in this world for me. While you still will never hear me use the term "soul mate", I can honestly say that though there may be other men out there that I could have had a happy life with, it's nearly impossible to imagine. Thank you Layne for 5 wonderful years! Here's to 50 more!

Ode to the Olympics

Oh, how I love watching the Olympics! The Olympics have plenty of critics and plenty of people who don't care about them anymore, but I'm still a big fan! Anyone who watched the men's 400 relay yesterday knows why. How awesome was that!? Some other events I enjoyed over the weekend:

Women's indoor volleyball (those are some TALL ladies!)
Synchronized diving
Gymnastics (certainly one of the highlights for me) Anyone else think those Chinese women look like they're barely 8 years old?
Swimming (how cool is that venue "The Cube"!?)
Basketball

Even with a blessed DVR that allowed us to fast forward through commercials and meaningless Olympic chatter, we stayed up way too late last night watching and I'm now dead tired today. Oh well, the Olympics come but once every 4 years!

I only have a few beefs with it this year, one of which is that Bob Costas looks ridiculous with his dyed hair. It looks like he rubbed shoe polish all over his head!

From what I've seen though, it looks like the Chinese are doing a good job hosting! Its probably because of all those great rules they have in place for their citizens and visitors during the course of the Olympics. Some of them include:

No sleeping outdoors
No streaking
No setting off fireworks
No waving insulting banners
No one with STDs or mental illness is allowed "out" during the games
No restaurants are allowed to serve dog meat during the Olympic games

Seems like they got all the major bases covered! :)

Catching Up

Its been a busy week, but in the summer time sometimes that is "fun busy". Layne has been recruited to fill in on league softball teams multiple this summer and was recently asked by a neighbor to join a team. In addition to softball, Layne has been playing basketball with guys from the ward on Tuesday nights which keeps him busy. He has also made friends with our neighbor Chad who is his new weekend skate buddy. The weather has been so nice lately that its a shame not to be outside. Yesterday it was a breezy 88 degrees! Not bad for August!

On Wed. evening I had to miss mutual to endure my annual vocal assessment/re-audition for the Salt Lake Choral Artists. The only difference for me is I joined the ensemble in January so it hasn't even been a year. Dr. Allred is really cracking down on the membership of the ensembles to step it up, so everyone had to go through a vocal assessment to demonstrate skills and improvement since the last assessment. Then he's going through and re-organizing and reducing the size of the ensembles so that there can be a higher level of musicianship and performance. I had to prepare a solo piece, for which I chose a Franz Schubert lieder called Du Bist Die Ruh'. Then I had to sing my part in one of the movements from Elijah which we performed several months ago. I sang both pieces well and vocalized surprisingly high for my voice. Then came the musician's nightmare...sight reading. There were several bars of music in 6/8 with some interesting intervals, but I surprised myself by nailing it all but one interval at the end which I self corrected. After my audition Dr. Allred once again expressed his desire (not the first time he's done this) to have me audition for the University of Utah Singers, which is his prize 34 voice chamber ensemble.
It would be a BIG commitment, but I told him I'd sign up for an audition in 2 weeks. He asked me to prepare a solo that showcased my upper range (since the Schubert showcased my lower range), among the several other things I'll have to prepare. I was flattered that he was so insistent that I audition, because I've heard the group and they're pretty amazing.
While I'm glad to have SLCA assessment successfully behind me, I now have 2 weeks to prepare for a MUCH more difficult audition. There is nothing more intimidating to me. I don't know if my nerves can take all this.

Friday night Layne and I went to the IMAX with friends from the ward Rob & Kim Gardner after which we came back to our place for ice cream. They both served missions in Brazil which of course provided a lot of fun conversation. Even though I'm the odd person out who didn't serve a mission in Brazil, at least I've been there so I can share in the fun.

Also last night (and this morning), I met with my first new 'clients' for a side job I've taken. They are a diverse bunch of individuals, but so far I've enjoyed working with them. Thunder and Lightening are brothers and are 11 year old Springer Spaniels who were rescued and are ADORABLE. Mr. Mow is a friendly cat and there are dozens of unnamed tropical fish that I am also "working with". You guessed it, I'm an independently contracted professional pet sitter.

Thunder & Lightening fighting for lap space.

Doing my job. :)

Calming down after a BRISK morning walk around the neighborhood.

One more good scratch behind the ears and I'm off to my next client.

This is Mr. Mow. All I had to do was feed him and the fish and let him out. Easy-peasy, Japanesie!

The girl who owns "No More Lonely Pets" is a law student up at the U about my age, who I met several weeks ago. Its a great business that is putting her through law school. I get as many jobs as I want, and it couldn't be easier. My first 2 jobs are right around the corner from my house which makes it a breeze. All I have to do is feed, water, walk, let the cat out in the morning and in at night, and spend a little time giving some much appreciated belly rubs and my job is done. Easy money. And for someone like me who loves dogs, its not really even work. For any of you who live in the Salt Lake valley and have pets, may I recommend No More Lonely Pets for all your pet/house sitting needs! Here is their website.

Water on the road!

I seem destined to find delays in morning traffic if they are in existence. Last week a broken down bus blocked 3 lanes of freeway traffic. The week before there was a goose in the road that wouldn't get out of the way of a car. Earlier in the month someone's mattress had come untied off the roof of their car and was clogging up a turn lane. This morning I ran into a rather interesting hold up in traffic. It took me 15 minutes of sitting in line to work my way up to the point where I could see what was causing the delay. Turns out the only problem was a little water on the road. Aquafina to be precise.
A pickup truck carrying dozens of cases of water bottles in the back had lost half it's load going around this turn scattering water bottles everywhere. It was amusing to watch the 2 guys scurrying around in heavy traffic trying to clear the road while dodging cars in a hurry to get to work. Though they had kicked most of the bottles out of the road by the time I got close enough to see, my favorite part was when a big rig oil tanker truck with TWO trailers passed through the intersection running over dozens of bottles which all exploded shooting water everywhere and soaking the guys. It was like some crazy water park attraction gone awry!
Moral of the story: If you're going to carry stuff in the back of your truck, make sure its tied down.

Conquering Fear

Yesterday after work, the opportunity presented itself for me to break free of the chains of fear and doubt that have gripped me for sometime regarding a certain outdoor activity. This is going to sound really silly, but I have long been afraid of skateboards. Not skateboards themselves of course, but getting on one. The last time I tried to ride one was IN our apartment after Layne and I first got married. I was on the carpet. I was merely standing on the thing trying to get my balance when it slipped out from under me and I face planted on the floor and the board shot out behind me denting the wall. I took about a 4 year hiatus from going anywhere near the thing until several months ago when I attempted standing on it again while holding onto Layne for dear life. It looked about as natural as elephants on ice. And there you have it, my skateboard history...until yesterday. For Layne's birthday he ordered a new custom skateboard and it arrived yesterday afternoon. Since it was brand new, it was in the house and I decided to play around with it on the carpet in our loft under close supervision and with Layne guarding the walls and the computer. After about 20 minutes of that (figuring out how to stand on it and figuring out which foot to push with), I took it downstairs to the wood floor for a test run. Another 15 minutes of practice on the wood & tile, and Layne convinced me to take it outside for a real road trial.

Sometimes our biggest hurdles in life are in our own heads. I've been convinced since my earliest recollections that I am the Queen of Clumsy, and though all logic told me I had no business being on a skateboard, I couldn't allow myself to be beaten by this "toy". So, I disregarded logic and reason for the greater good; overcoming my fear and doing something I didn't think I could do. At that, I cast my tentativeness to the side, threw caution to the wind, and mounted the beast. The rest is history. I rode outside for about half an hour, and even went down our steep driveway twice! I knew that without proof, my family wouldn't believe me (especially after that Christmas morning when we were all taking turns on Dane's wave board), so here is video evidence of my triumph! Granted, I look like a complete hack, but BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE HUMAN WILL!



I actually ended up having a lot of fun! Layne says I'm a natural (which is probably a tidy little way of saying he was surprised that I hadn't cracked my melon on the pavement yet). After slaying my dragon, Layne and I celebrated by going to the store to buy some Pineapples. They are so good right now, we have been going through like 2-3 a week. Afterwards we watched the big air competition on the opening night of the X-Games where we saw some of the biggest skate board wipe outs in history. I'm just glad we watched that AFTER my first attempt, otherwise I doubt I could have summoned the courage. Here's to conquering fear and trying something new!