Bad Spelling Makes Me [sic]

I don't know that anyone who didn't major in English isn't a teacher or doesn't have a firm grasp of Latin will find any humor in my post title, but I thought it was pretty funny. Dad, that one is for you! So I witnessed an incident of pretty horrific spelling today and thought I'd share. For the record, I am not the worlds BEST speller, but I do consider myself to be relatively competent and more importantly, careful, when it comes to spelling. I saw an email that had been sent to a friend that I work with in which a relative was describing the fun plans they had for the upcoming "weakend" particularly on "Saterday". There would be "shoping", children's "swiming" lessons, trying a new "resteront" etc. Needless to say I was mildly tickled by it.

This narrative paled in comparison however, to this letter that I found on the Internet. This is a real letter that was sent from Mississippi to Boston. It sat in a Boston post office for several weeks while the post master and his clerks puzzled over the direction written on the envelope (which was sealed with something that looked like tamerack or hemlock gum), until in a moment of sheer inspiration the post master connected the dots.

“tu doktur B—— tuth-doktur in bostun masychoosits"

Dr. B--- was a well known local dentist! The letter was sent on its way but is currently on display along with the envelope at the University of Virginia Alderman Library. The letter had no capital letters and no punctuation whatsoever. The letter read as follows (names have been omitted):

“ dere Sur wen i wos in bostun last spring u sodderd up a holler tuth wich aked orlmity bad miss L—— has got tu teth wich is orlso holler——sum konsideribil holes in um jest as u remembur wos in mine afore u soderd um now as mister V—— our kounti taksgathur is a kalkerlatin to put fur ure diggins toomorrer, i arst him tu korl an git sum of the soddir so i ken plug um up, kos sheze a-yellin like a bar kort in a trap—getin no slepe nites no moer than a skaird paintur mister V— wil pa u for the soddir wen he gits it ure servunt n— L— miss L— woad like a tuth skrubir as she karnt git none nerer than Nachese hante no wa tu send thar orlso she wood like tu no if ule cend sumthin fur her gooms wich is soar mister V— wil pa u fur ure trubbel wen he korls for the sodir, kos i gin him the munny tu.”

How great is that? I can just hear this woman's ancestors now, "Oh wut a beeutiful wuden horse, yes, of koarse I'll sine for it!" Maybe this guy is her husband. This whole subject reminded me of one of my favorite sitcom episodes in the history of television on the show Fraiser called "War of the Words". The following are a few clips from that episode, in which Fraiser's son is competing in the National Spelling Bee and wins, but afterward is disqualified because a video taken by the father of the rival child shows Fraiser mouthing the letters as Freddy spelled the final word. I tried to find the clip where they discuss spelling stance, "bend at the knees, spell with ease", or Nile's lecture to Freddy about trying not to get too caught up in the "glitz and glamor of the Bee". But these are the only 2 clips I could find. They're both great. Enjoy, and happy spelling!