The Fruity Humanitarian

So one of the costs of living with my aunt & uncle the past couple months has been that whenever they run out of fridge space, they overflow to ours. Such was the case with a certain watermelon a few weeks ago. They brought it down and asked if we'd keep it in our fridge until they could cut it up and eat it. Well, the days turned into weeks and after a particularly big shopping trip, my sister Kim & I decided that there was no longer any room in our fridge for this particular piece of fruit. So, we determined that aunt & uncle had forgotten about it or had no intention of eating it and that there could be only one fate for an old neglected melon -- to be thrown off something and smashed. Together we named the watermelon "Charles Bernard" and settled on performing the service the under shroud of night the next evening by rolling him down a nearby mountain. We wrote his name on his rind in Sharpie along with the phrase "Bust Must Plus", then took "before" pictures and left him out on the counter to await his fate. Well, the next day, after we all returned home from work, we came into the kitchen to find Charles Bernard missing. To our horror and shame, my aunt and uncle (the King and Queen of Waste-Not-Want-Notsville) had come downstairs, found Charles Bernard awaiting his doom, and conducted a rescue operation transporting him to their own over-stuffed fridge. To this day nothing has been mentioned between us about Charles' relocation. But to my utter embarrassment, my 65 yr old aunt has a watermelon in her fridge upon which is written "Charles Bernard -- Bust Must Plus"! I don't know that things between us will ever be quite the same.